The children are finally 18, can I stop paying child support?

Jack’s brother, Sam, has twin daughters (Melany and Stephany) who will soon be 18 years old and who continue to live primarily with their mother since the separation. The adult girls have just graduated from high school.     Melany has been working in retail since she is 16 years old and in light of the career opportunities offered by her company she has decided for the time being to work full time in that industry and not pursue her post-secondary studies.    As for Stephany, she aspires to become a doctor and has been accepted to university.  Following the completion of her bachelor degree in sciences, she hopes to enter medical school to pursue her dream.    For the next three years, both girls intend to continue living with their mother   Sam wonders whether he still has an obligation to pay child support after the girls turn 18.

Child support does not necessarily end when a child turns 18.  Normally, child support will continue to be paid for an adult child if he/she enrolls into  a post-secondary study program or if the child is unable to support himself/herself as a result of a disability or illness.  When a child pursues a college or university education the child support obligation will usually end when the child receives his/her first post-secondary degree, although there are exceptions.

To the extent that the obligation to continue to pay child support exists, the monthly amount of support must be determined. This is where things get a bit more complicated.  Normally, if a child lives at home with one parent while pursuing his/her studies, the basic child support amount that was payable prior to the child turning 18 will likely continue to be payable after that date (this amount is set by the Federal Child Support Guidelines, based on the payor’s income). This makes sense since the “custodial” parent will have to continue to maintain a home for the child and to assume his/her day-to-day expenses (i.e., transportation, food, clothing).    However, if the child movesaway from home to attend school (normally 8 months out of 12), then the way child support is calculated would be different as we would have to take into consideration the child’s needs outside of the parent’s home, the reduced costs to the recipient parent when the child is living away from home and the child’s own ability to contribute to his or her living and school expenses.

In addition to paying the basic child support amount, the paying parent (such as Sam) would also have an obligation to contribute his/her share of the child’s extraordinary expenses.  These would include a portion of the child’s tuition fees, books and other school expenses, to the extent that the child is unable to cover all of those expenses with student loans, grants or their own income.

 

Although it may appear that child support obligations will never end, just remember that you are a parent for life.  In the end, giving your child a chance at living a successful and financially independent life (hopefully sooner rather than later…) is what you are here for in the first place, isn’t it?

Should I go back to school as an adult student?

Jill is always struggling to make ends meet and she does not really like her job.  More than anything else, she hates to be financially dependent on Jack.  Since the separation, she is longing for a new exciting career with a higher income and better advancement opportunities.  Her greatest challenge is juggling home life, work and school.   Jill’s parents have agreed to help her out with the children during the school year.  However, they have a well-deserved retirement and Jill does not feel comfortable with imposing her family responsibilities on them.    Jill wonders if she should go back to school part-time or full-time, where she will take the money, the energy and the time to tackle this new life project. 

Here are four tips that can make an adult student life a bit easier:

1. Get Financial Help - Unless you have won the lottery or received an inheritance, money is the number one issue for adult student returning to school.  Ask your school for the various scholarships, grants and loans available in Ontario.   Often the applications must be sent several months prior to the beginning of the school year.  Make your budget, understand the debt repayment options available, as well as, the interest rates.  No sense accumulating a $50,000 debt that you will only pay off in 25 years!  Plan this out while you are at the negotiation table with you ex.  For example, you could try to negotiate a lump sum spousal support payment (one larger payment now rather than lower monthly instalments over a longer period of time).  You could also  ask for higher support payments but for a shorter period of time than the law would allow, which would give you the extra cash flow you need while attending school. 

 

2.  Plan study time in your busy schedule - Unless studying becomes your full-time job, you will have to juggle studies, children, and (maybe) a new relationship.  Managing your study time will be pivotal to your success.   Decide what hours/days you need. Making a date with yourself will help you stay focused and disciplined when something comes up during that scheduled time. Try to negotiate with your ex a parenting plan (access schedule) with the children that will give you the time you need to study.  You ex could be more than happy to help out with the children if, in the end it, your income is larger and you become less financially dependent on him or her.

 

3.  Reduce Test Anxiety – It is sad but true, with age and a surcharge of family responsibilities, our memory is not what it used to be when we were young and carefree students.  No matter how hard you study, tests are usually stressful.  Try to organize a special parenting arrangement with your ex during the weeks when you have exams.  School schedules are usually fixed a year in advance.  This gives you ample time to sort out, in  advance, a parenting arrangement for those weeks.  Being organized is the first way to reduce test stress, manage your anxiety and avoid last minute study cramming. When all fails, remember to breathe!

 

4. Create your support system -   Getting help from friends and family will be crucial during this very stressful and hectic time of your life.  Many schools offer group help and day-care facilities.  Friends and family may be more than happy to take the children for a meal and to special activities to help you out.  Don’t be shy and ask for help.  Get ideas from other adult students in your group. You might be surprised to see how many other single parents return to school and how resourceful they are when it comes to organization, household management and child care arrangements!