Leaving the country with the children for March Break? Bring a Consent Letter!

Jill is planning to take a boat cruise with the children this March Break.  She is fed up of the cold winter, she is exhausted with the separation process and feels that a good family vacation would do some good.  Jack, however, does not feel the same way.  Jill has so far refused to cover her fair share of the mortgage and if she does not have money for that, she shouldn’t spend thousands on a luxurious vacation south. Jill doesn’t know what to do.  There is no way she can be in court before the scheduled trip and she is afraid that custom authorities will not let her through with the children if she does not have a consent letter signed by Jack… Or should she try anyway?

 

Traveling with children is always a challenge for parents, whether or not you are still together. If you travel with your children and the other parent is not part of the trip, you will need to get the other parent to sign a consent letter giving you permission to leave the country with the children.   A consent letter is normally required by customs whether you have sole custody or joint custody of your children.  It does not matter whether your custodial rights come from a separation agreement or a court order.  If you do not want any surprises at customs, make sure you pack your passport, the children’s passports and an original consent letter in the prescribed form.  The Department of Foreign Affairs and International Trade Canada provides an example of a consent letter that you may use to create your own letter.  For your convenience, you may access this consent letter directly from our FREE Toolbox (click here). However, it is advisable to have the consent letter notarized by a lawyer (or someone having authority to swear an oath such a doctor, legal assistant, city officials, etc.) to make sure that the validity of the other parent’s signature is not questioned by customs.

 

Most separation agreements provide that the other parent’s consent must be sought in advance, and that such consent cannot be unreasonably withheld.  But what happens if your ex-spouse refuses to sign the consent letter?  Unfortunately, this happens too often – but sometimes for very valid reasons (health or safety issues) but sometimes simply as a means to engage the other parent in conflict.  If your ex-spouse refuses to sign a consent letter for no valid reason, you may have to bring the matter to court to obtain the court’s authorization to travel with the children outside of the country.  If the court finds that your ex-spouse’s refusal was unreasonable, it can order your ex-spouse to pay for all of the legal fees you had to incur to obtain the court order.

 

This is of course an expensive – and extremely stressful – way to begin a vacation with your children.  You may also need to book an extra week of vacation just to recuperate!  To avoid these unfortunate situations and to keep having fun in the sun, make sure that your separation agreement or divorce order includes well-drafted and comprehensive travel provisions setting out clear expectations when traveling abroad with the children.

Spousal support? Are you kidding me??

Jack and Jill both met in university.  During their last two years of university, Jack and Jill moved in together and married a few months after graduation.  The couple were advancing in age and as Jack was making a decent salary that could support the family.  They then decided that Jill would stay home with the children until they were in school. But Jill never truly started her career.  She is working part-time for the local television station, which gives her time to attend to all of the children’s medical and extracurricular needs. Her annual income is not sufficient to be self-supporting. Jill is completely discouraged especially in this time of recession where no one is hiring and all of her friends are being laid-off.   Jill has been told by her lawyer that after 13 years of marriage she would most likely be entitled to spousal support.  Jack disagrees stating that it was Jill’s decision to stay home while he worked his butt off all these years to support the family. 

 
Unlike child support which is calculated according to a specific amount set out in the Federal Child Support Guidelines, spousal support is not set in stone.  If the parties disagree on the amount to be paid, or for how long, the court will be required to make a decision and they have much discretion in setting those parameters.  The following factors, among others, will be considered: 

- The number of years during which the parties have lived together;
- The parties’ respective income;
- Whether the couple still have dependent children;
- The parties' age as well as their physical and mental health;
- The parties’ standard of living during the relationship;
- The parties’ current assets and financial means, including what they are likely to earn in the future;
- The capacity of the recipient to contribute to his/her own support, by working or otherwise, and the amount of time it will take him/her to achieve self-sufficiency;
- The payer’s capacity to pay support; and
- Whether or not the recipient has helped the other spouse to build a career or a business.

 

In general, the duration of spousal support can vary from 0.5 to 1 year of support for each year the couple has cohabited together (note that it is the years of cohabitation that count, not the years of marriage).  In certain circumstances, such as when a couple has cohabited for more than 20 years, the support may be payable for an “indefinite” duration.  This means that the support will continue to be paid until an important change occurs (such as remarriage, retirement, important change in income, etc.).

The right to ask for spousal support is automatic for married couples. With regard to common law spouses, it varies from province to province.  In Ontario, you can only ask for spousal support if you have lived together for 3 years continuously, or if you have a child together and live in a relationship of some permanence. The same factors (as listed above) are relevant for married and common law couples.

For more helpful information about spousal support or the rights of common law spouses, subscribe to our full library of recorded programs (Study Box) available 24/7 at www.familylawinabox.com (click here to be directed to our Study Box).

 

Child Support – Why should I support my wife’s shopping addiction?

Following many discussions, Jack and Jill have finally agreed for Jill to have the children in her primary care (equal to 70% of the time) and Jack, because of his work obligations and difficult schedule, will have them in his care every second weekend including one or two evenings in between (or 30% of the time).  As a result of this arrangement and because he earns a substantially higher income than Jill, Jack’s monthly child support payment will increase.  Jack is concerned about Jill’s love for shopping. While he financially supported it during the marriage, Jack is convinced that a good chunk of the child support he will pay will not be spent on the children. Jack spoke to colleagues at work who used all sorts of strategies to reduce their child support payments. He wonders whether he should have insisted to have the children 50% of the time and whether it was a good idea to accept the long-awaited promotion handed out to him at work, resulting in a higher income… and higher child support payments.

Both of these options are not advisable.  Firstly, a parent should never make parenting decisions based on financial considerations (i.e. with a view of reducing child support).  The court would readily see such a decision for what it is and the parent would lose credibility before the court (or a mediator).  Decision-making authorities assess parenting arrangements based on what is in the best interest of the children, and nothing else.  Rights and obligations regarding children are the same whether you are married or living in a common law relationship.

In the same way, it is a terrible idea for a parent to take steps to quit a well-paying job or to voluntarily reduce his/her annual income to avoid paying child support.  If a court finds that the payer parent has voluntarily reduced his/her income, it may impute an annual income that is greater than the one shown on the income tax return.  The amount of the imputed income will be based on what the court believes the payer parent has the capability to earn.  Following the court decision, that parent will be obligated to pay the higher basic child support amount imputed.  

Many payer parents are concerned with the way basic child support is being used by the recipient parent. While this may be frustrating in some circumstances, the payer parent has no control over the money once it has been paid to the recipient parent. What payers need to understand is that basic child support is not meant to cover strictly expenses that directly benefit the children themselves (such as food and clothing).  It also serves to cover expenses which benefit the children indirectly (although it also has the effect of benefitting the parent as well), such as the mortgage and utilities (for the home in which the children live), the car (which is used to travel them around) and, yes, even the brand new porch…

The payer parent should also keep in mind that in the Federal Child Support Guidelines, basic child support amounts vary for each Canadian provinces and territories and are set based on the amount that an individual parent, with a specific income, is expected to spend to provide for his/her children.   It is simple, the higher the income, the higher the child support amount will be.  Although a payer parent may feel that it would be « cheaper » not to pay child support and to have the children half the time instead, let’s remember that raising children is extremely expensive (many little things, which you may not think about, result in considerable costs when pulled together; haircuts, school lunches and activities, birthday parties, toys, personal care items and, yes, those LuLu Lemon pants…).  In the vast majority of cases, the basic child support amount will not be sufficient to cover that parent’s share of the children’s expenses (both direct and indirect) and the recipient parent will often have to modify his/her current standard of living to support the children financially.

For more helpful information about basic child support and or extraordinary (special) expenses, subscribe to our full library of recorded programs (Study Box) at

www.familylawinabox.com.  (click here to be directed to our Study Box)

Who keeps the family pie?

Jill is hosting a girls’ night out at her house.  She starts talking about her divorce with Jack and explains that she’s entitled to “half of everything”. Her friend Sandy who also went through a divorce 5 years ago tells her that that’s not how it works.  “You divide the value, not the assets”, she says.  A discussion on the subject enfolds and Debra, who has lived in a common law relationship with Dave for 5 years wonders if she would be entitled to claim half of everything as well as a common law spouse. Kathy thinks so, since her cousin got half of her ex’ house after a lengthy court battle, but Carolyn is convinced that this is not the case. And everyone is confused.

 

The rules applicable to the division of family property differ significantly depending on your legal status (married or living in a common law relationship), and also on the province in which you live. In fact, each of the Canadian provinces has its own way of dividing family assets when a separation occurs, whether married of in a common law relationship.

 

For married spouses, there are many general principles that apply in all provinces. The most important one is that all provincial laws share a common goal: to divide equally – or at least fairly – between the two ex-spouses the wealth accumulated by the couple during the marriage.  The basic principle underlying the various provincial family property division schemes is that marriage is a financial partnership and it does not matter who paid for the assets, whether a spouse has contributed more than the other, or who is the actual legal owner of any given asset.  In Ontario, the value of all assets acquired by the spouses (jointly or individually) during the marriage will have to be shared between them. In other provinces, the assets themselves get divided. In some provinces, like British Columbia, the court has the discretion to divide a married couple’s family property the way it feels fair and equitable. In most provinces, however, the judge has no discretion and must abide by very strict rules to which there are many exceptions.

 

For common law spouses, the right to share in the other’s property – and the way property is to be shared – when a separation occurs varies from province to province. For instance, in Manitoba and Nova Scotia, common law spouses are given substantial rights to share in the other’s property after separation.  But in other provinces, like in the province of Quebec, common law spouses have absolutely no right at all to claim a fair share of the property acquired by the other spouse during the relationship.  In Quebec, what is yours is yours and what is mine is mine, so to speak.  In other provinces, such as the province of Ontario, common law spouses are presumed to have no right to share in the other’s property, but if very specific circumstances exist, courts will allow common law spouses to share in some or all of their spouse’s assets upon separation.  It is a myth to believe that you are entitled to half of your ex’s assets if you have lived in a common law relationship for more than three years!  When the parties cannot agree (as is often the case) on how to divide their assets, they will have to bring the matter to court and let a judge decide. This process is, as you know, very costly and (so far as common law spouses are concerned) very unpredictable.

 

Because the laws of each province are so drastically different when it comes to splitting this cherished family pie, it is extremely important to understand the regime that applies to your particular situation, in your particular province. Take the time to inform yourself and obtain proper legal advice BEFORE you move in with someone, get married, make a significant financial contribution or investment in joint assets or in assets belonging to your spouse.  Entering into a well written cohabitation agreement (common law spouses) or a marriage contract (marriage spouses) could avoid many heartaches and headaches.  Why wait until a separation occurs to find out that after all these years of emotional and financial investments, you are not even allowed to eat a piece of the pie…

Life insurance to secure child support: There’s no way I’m leaving you this money!

Since the separation, Jack has never stopped paying the monthly premiums for the life insurance policy that he and Jill bought during their marriage.  As there is no chance of reconciliation, Jack wonders whether he should stop paying for Jill’s portion of the monthly premiums.  After all, why isn’t Jill paying for her own premiums? Jack’s friend Dave also told him that he should immediately remove Jill’s name as the beneficiary of his insurance policy and put the children instead.

 

If Jack was well advised, he would do neither.  When parents separate and there are dependent children to care for, it is very important for both parents to maintain life insurance coverage sufficient to provide for the children should the unthinkable happen.  As long as the children remain dependant financially, both parents have a continued obligation to provide financial support –child support – whether they are paying it or receiving it.

In most cases, when a parent dies, the children move in full-time with the surviving parent who is left with having to financially support the children, without any financial contribution from the other parent, unless proper life insurance coverage is in place.  Even if the deceased parent has made a Will and named the minor children as beneficiaries of part or all of his or her estate, the reality is that it often takes months, if not years, for an estate to be administered and the gifts to be distributed.  Furthermore, the Will may prevent the children to have access to the money until they are 18 years of age or even older.  In the meanwhile, the surviving parent struggles and the children suffer unnecessarily. 

 

Here are some additional reasons why separated parents should maintain life insurance coverage naming the other parent as irrevocable beneficiary in trust for the children AT ALL TIMES:

1. If you die and have made no provisions for the other parent to receive money for the support of your children, the surviving parent may very well sue your Estate to obtain that support.  This is bound to delay the administration of your estate considerably, in addition to forcing your executors to engage significant legal fees to defend the action and settle the issue, leaving less money for the children in the end.

 

2. If your child is a minor at the time of your death, he or she will not be entitled to receive any monies directly (from your Will or your insurance policy).  The monies will have to be administered by the person you named as trustee for your children.   If no one was named, the monies will be administered by the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG), a governmental institution who will step in to administer your financial affairs and decide what is best for your children.

 

3. Having your ex-spouse as beneficiary in trust of the life insurance proceeds for your children with specific directions as to how the funds may be used by him or her, and what is to be done with any leftover once the children cease to be dependent, will insure that the monies are used properly for the benefit of your children.

 

4. Your children will have immediate access to funds to maintain their standard of living after you are gone.  They will be able to pursue their activities or schooling, and there will be no gap between the time of your death and the time they have access to the fund they need to pursue their daily life.

 

5. Proper life insurance simplifies the lives of everyone involved if one of the parents dies, and the cost to maintain relatively large amounts of temporary life insurance coverage is quite minimal - depending of course on your age and health condition. 

Making sure your children are provided for in the event of your death is a part of being a responsible and loving parent.

Watch What You Write on Your Wall…

Jill is very upset with Jack and vented her frustrations on Facebook.  Her friends “liked” her comments.  Unfortunately, Jill forgot that one of her friends is also friends with Jack’s teenage niece who has her phone glued to her hip and who instantaneously saw the comment Jill made about her uncle.  Of course, she immediately shared it with her mother, Jack’s sister.  Even if Jill wanted to erase her comment, it is too late and Jack has already seen it. 

Social networking services such as Facebook, Linkedin or Twitter have not only become a “marriage killer” – you would be surprise to learn how many people discovered that their spouse was cheating through these means -  they also have the potential of becoming a “best case” killer in court or in a divorce settlement process.  When a separation gets ugly, spouses may be tempted to use social media as a channel to vent their anger, bash their ex-spouse’s actions and get support from common friends and family members in what they believe to be their “just cause”.   

 
If you are using social media to show off your new “hot” girlfriend to your buddies, or to gain support from your friends, rest assured that this evidence is going to find its way into the court room – or in your ex-spouse’s lawyer’s hands–quicker than you can think.  Yes, this type of evidence can be used against you in court and in other settlement processes.  Imagine, with your own actions and your own words you may give your ex-spouse the evidence he or she needs to discredit you and prove his or her point against you.  Your children could find your disparaging comments in future years.    It is hard for parents to argue that they have their children’s best interest at heart – and thus should be granted sole custody of them – when evidence proves that they have spent the past two months destroying the other parents’ reputation in social media.   Even worst, your children can be scared emotionally in the process, especially if your comments are available for the whole world to read. 

Finally, it is not enough to try to limit the damage by shutting down your existing account, locking down your privacy settings or “untagging” your images and pictures.  The damage may be impossible to control down the road as social media tends to leave permanent traces.  Remember that social networking services were created to help people stay in touch. Therefore, if one day you have the urge or the need to vent about your ex or the events related to your separation, just pick up the phone and talk to someone before writing it - permanently - on  your wall. 

Should we involve the Office of the Children’s Lawyer in our parenting dispute?

Jack thinks that Jill is unreasonable when making plans regarding the children.  She refuses to be flexible when it comes to dividing the time with the children on holidays, sharing information from the school, or letting him take the children for more than a few days here and there. Jack wants to have the children with him half the time to regain his place as a parent in their lives.  His friend has suggested that he should consider getting the Office of the Children’s Lawyer (OCL) involved but Jack is leery to engage the children in a process that he does not understand. 

The Office of the Children’s Lawyer is a government-funded organization that oversees that justice is being served on behalf of children (under 18 years of age) through the delivery of various services in the province of Ontario.  It is important to note, however, that the OCL’s involvement in custody and access cases is not automatic.  Their services may be requested by a judge in the context of a court case but there is no guarantee that the OCL will provide services.  If it does, then those services will be provided free of charge to the parents.  In essence, the OCL steps in as an objective third party to introduce some impartiality in disputes between parents.  The OCL can provide two very useful services: independent legal representation for children and custody and access assessments performed by trained social science professionals.

Independent legal representation will normally be provided when the child is older or at least sufficiently mature to express his opinion about his preferences. The child’s lawyer will be an advocate for the child and his/her role and responsibility will be to convey to the judge the child’s wishes and preferences with regards to the visitation arrangements that he would prefer.  For younger children or for families that present important challenges (such as allegations of domestic violence, substance abuse, parental alienation or where a child has special needs), the OCL may become involved by carrying out a comprehensive family assessment.  Following such an assessment, the OCL’s clinical investigators will report to the court to provide recommendations about the custody and access arrangements that would be best for the children.

The OCL’s services are very effective at helping parents make decisions that are in the best interest of their children, when they have not been able to do so on their own. Of course, it is always best for everybody when parents are able to agree between themselves as to what is best for their kids, as parents may not be happy with the recommendations made by an outsider, be it a judge or the professionals working for the OCL.