Domestic Violence Court Program

Jack just received a disturbing telephone call from his sister Anna late last night.  During an argument between Anna and her husband, violence erupted and a call to 911 was made by the oldest daughter.  Since a mandatory charging policy has been implemented in Ontario to improve the system’s response to domestic violence, if there are reasonable grounds, the police must lay charges.  In light of the circumstances, the police officer also made a dual arrest as he had reasonable grounds to charge both the offender and the victim.  Both parties must now appear in court and Jack wants to be present for his sister. 

Domestic violence, also referred to as intimate partner abuse, is a crime in Canada.  Though primarily perpetrated by men against women, it can also be carried out by women against men or even in same-sex relationships.  Domestic violence takes on many forms not limited to physical violence, and the complexities of these relationships may result in victims repeatedly exposing themselves to potential violence. 

In Ontario, the Domestic Violence Court  (DVC) Program accounts for the unique relationship between offender and victim as well as other individuals affected by the violence, such as children.  The DVC deals with domestic violence cases in several ways, including, intervening early on in abusive situations, providing assistance to victims, and holding offenders accountable for their actions. 

The casualties of domestic violence are not limited to those directly involved, thus consideration is given to the safety of other family members such as children as well.  There are several components and specialized personnel that assist the operation of this program, including: police, Crown Attorneys, the Partner Assault Response (PAR) program, the Victim/Witness Assistance Program (VWAP) and other community agencies.  

The PAR program instructs and provides guidance to offenders ordered to follow the program by the court.  Its purpose is to hold offenders accountable for their abusive actions and to increase the safety of victims.  Offenders obtain the tools necessary to analyze their behaviour and to resolve conflict in a non-violent way.

The VWAP program is set-up to assist victims and witnesses of crimes by facilitating their understanding of the criminal court process and providing support as they participate in the process.  This service is not limited to domestic violence cases, as it also assists victims/witnesses of child abuse, sexual assault and homicide.  This program is meant to serve the vulnerable individuals involved in such crimes.  The services are provided from the time charges are laid to completion of the case.  Assistance offered includes: emotional support, court preparation and case information, as well as referrals to other organizations that provide support

It’s summer and kids just want to have fun!

While sipping her coffee this morning, Jill was thinking of her childhood and remembered the times when she slept ‘till noon, spent hours in front of the TV in her PJ’s and played outside all day with her siblings and friends.  Jill feels that since she and Jack separated, with the kids having to deal with two homes and the ever changing parenting schedule, they just don’t have time to “chill” anymore – as they say.  The summer vacation plans have become soooo complicated since both parents want to enjoy quality vacation time with the children.  Jill understands the need for her to recharge her batteries as well, as the school year was quite hectic with the many changes and challenges brought about by the separation and trying to keep up with the homework and extracurricular activities’ schedule.

If that sounds like your current life circumstances, here are a few tips that you might want to keep in mind when preparing summer plans for you and your kids. 

The golden rule:  KEEP IT SIMPLE and FUN! 

1. Stop pressuring yourself to create the perfect summer for your children. You're not a cruise director; you're a parent.  Ask the children to help you plan the activities. You’ll see, they have the most amazing (and simple) ideas. Remember, there is a lot to be said about quiet dinners on the patio, picnics in the backyard and ice cream cones on a hot night.  Running through the cold water sprinkler can easily replace the public pool.

2. Try to work, clean your house, or do volunteer work while your children are with the other parent.  Save the fun events for the days your children are with you. If your schedule conflicts with your ex’s, try to compromise keeping in mind that the end goal is to give your children a relaxing and fun summer.   Although it may not be easy to deal with an ex that keeps messing up your plans, patience and flexibility always make things easier in the end.

3. Friends are extremely important for children, particularly older ones, and your super-organized schedule may not fit their plans for simple play time in the backyard or at the park. If required, go the extra step and offer to drive your kids’ friends to and from your home.  Serving a glass of iced juice with homemade chocolate cookies on the picnic table can win you the award of the “coolest” neighbourhood parent.

4. Let’s face it, often you can’t spend the whole day playing with your kids. Don’t feel guilty. Just look with your children for alternatives that will keep them happy while you are busy doing other things. Again, involving your children in planning their activities gives them a sense of control over their schedule which is often taken away as a result of sharing two homes.

5. Last but not least, plan for some adult fun for the days the children are away. You also need time to enjoy your summer vacation and to regain your energy.  Take time to explore new places or simply invite family and friends and just relax and laugh in the backyard.  Remember the golden rule:  KEEP IT SIMPLE and FUN!