It only takes a minute to make a phone call!

It is 6:03 p.m. and Jill is home waiting impatiently for the children to return from their visit with Jack.  It is now seven o’clock and the children are still not home.  Jill is really worried that they had a car accident and tries to call Jack on his cell phone but, as usual, she gets the voicemail.  It is 7:52 and Jill is close to tears when finally the car pulls into the laneway.  The children are happy to see their mother, Jack acts like nothing happened and wonders why Jill looks so weird and upset. 

If this scenario sounds familiar, just know that you are not alone. Agreements around children’s exchanges are sometimes not followed and can be a perfect opportunity for an irritated parent to upset the other as a result of thoughtlessness, immaturity, or simple lack of respect.  Unfortunately, there is often no legal sanction for this type of behavior.  Disputes arising from the implementation of the parenting provisions of a court order (such as exchange times) are civil matters, not criminal ones.  The police usually does not get involved unless there is a risk of harm to one parent or the children.

How can you manage your children’s exchanges effectively?  Obtaining a solid parenting agreement containing detailed expectations and built-in sanctions for misbehavior may be the answer to your problems. Your agreement should allow for a reasonable exchange time window as it happens to everyone to be “reasonably” late because of traffic, work or some other unavoidable delay.   However, if the parent does not call to notify the other parent or simply does not show for the visit, then the agreement should provide that the parenting time is lost so as to allow the other parent to carry on with his/her day. The same sanction could apply to future parenting time if the children are not returned on time after a visit. You may also want to consider asking for the exchange to take place in a public location such as a restaurant or coffee shop.

Is it possible to change your current, ineffective child custody order or parenting agreement? Yes, but you will need to go to court and ask a judge to vary the terms of your agreement or order. Depending on your current situation, this costly process might be worth your while in the long run and may be in the best interest of the children who are often caught in the middle of these high conflict situations.  Be sure to journal all the exchanges – the good and the bad – as you may need to provide the court with detailed accounts of the exchanges.

Parents and children both deserve a life post-divorce that is devoid of chaos and stress. This is easily achieved when both parents maintain a mutually respectful co-parenting relationship. Remember that good accounts make good friends and it only takes a minute to call and inform the other parent that you will be late. 

Tax Headaches for Separated Couples…

Here comes tax season again, and it’s time for Jack and Jill to pay the price for being respectful and abiding Canadian citizens.  It is hard enough to disentangle income tax issues when the family unit is still whole, imagine the complications that can arise when you have just separated and you do not have a finalized separation agreement. Canada Child Tax Credits, Harmonized Sales Tax Credits, Universal Child Care Benefits, Dependants Claims and National Child Benefits are only a few of those complex issues that need to be dealt with and Jack feels overwhelmed.  To make things worst, his lack of “meaningful” communication with Jill at this stage of their separation process is actually making income tax filing a true headache.   

If you were represented by a family lawyer when you signed your final separation agreement, you should not have to worry about future tax implications as your counsel should have carefully assessed them and included specific provisions in the agreement to help you determine which tax credits and benefits each of you is entitled to claim. However if, like Jack, you do not have such an agreement, here are a few tax principles that you absolutely need to be aware of:

 

 

1-     Child support payments. These payments are not tax-deductible for the support payor and are not included in the recipient’s income for tax purposes.  Support Payors Beware: You cannot claim an income tax deduction for the child support payments you made this past year.

  

2-    Spousal support payments. These payments, however, are included in the income of the support recipient and are deductible from the support payor’s income (unless the support was paid in one lump sum in which case different rules apply).  However, to be deductible the obligation to pay spousal support must be confirmed in a written separation agreement or a court order.  While Revenue Canada will recognize support payments made in the year preceding the execution of a separation agreement in most circumstances, you do not want to take a chance and you should confirm any spousal support obligations in a binding agreement (even partial, even signed at the kitchen table) without delay. Spousal Support Recipients Beware: You may need to pay income tax on the money you have received from your ex this past year, so make sure you put some money aside.  For more information on this topic you can visit the following Canada Revenue Agency link:

     

      http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/tx/ndvdls/tpcs/ncm-tx/spprtpymnts/menu-eng.html.

3-    Shared custody arrangement. A shared custody arrangement (for tax purposes) means that each parent spends an equal amount of time (or a near-equal amount of time) with the children in any given year.  In that case, the rules can get real complicated.  You can obtain more information by visiting the following link on Canada Revenue Agency’s website: http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/bnfts/menu-eng.html.  Share Custody Parents Beware:   Do not leave your money to the Taxman! Figuring out what tax credits and benefits you are entitled to and for what period of time can be a complex task.  You should consult with an accountant who will help you breeze through that determination.