I will NEVER get married again!

Jill cannot stand looking at another heart, cupid or flower which are plastered all over the stores for the upcoming Valentine’s Day.  She vows to never get married again because marriage is too much work, too many headaches and heartaches.  Although she fears being alone for the rest of her life and knows that another partner could provide emotional stability and possibly financial security, she is convinced that one marriage was enough and that love is not for her.

Following a separation, each spouse will be emotionally bruised and will deal with their feelings in a way that is unique to his or her emotional life experience.  Although some may choose to stay alone, others will remarry and many will live common law relationships.  In most Canadian provinces, common law couples do not have the same rights as married couples.  Protecting the assets you currently own becomes even more important and complex when entering a second or third relationship. Having a rock solid cohabitation agreement (for common law couples) or marriage contract (for married couples) is the best way for both parties to protect their assets and to define clearly their rights and obligations.  

Although a domestic contract will allow you to choose how you will divide money and property if there is a separation, issues may arise with respect to how you will manage your financial affairs while living together.  At the outset of a new relationship, most spouses vow to remain financially independent and share 50% of all expenses.  However, many factors may influence that decision such as the number of children living in the home, the disparity in your income, as well as child and spousal support obligations payable to a former family.  What is important is to find simple ways to keep track of monthly expenses and then determine how they should be divided amongst you at any given time as circumstances may change along the way. Here are a few simple tips that can help you better manage your joint finances:

 

1.     Getting a joint credit card dedicated solely for all household purchases such as groceries, kids’ expenses, gas, restaurants, family trips etc.  If no children are involved, it is easy for each spouse to pay 50% of the monthly account balance.  If children are involved, expenses can be shared proportionately (for example 40-60% or 30-70%) depending on the number of children.

2.     Opening a joint bank account where both spouses deposit monthly amounts of money dedicated to pay for household utilities, home renovations, car payments, mortgage etc.  Again, you can decide at the outset which amount is fair for you to pay based on your circumstances and which expenses will be shared or not be shared.

3.     Keeping a “cash’” envelope in the home where each spouse deposits a specific amount of money monthly to pay for take-out, restaurant tips and social activities.  Paying for pizza every Friday night might seem like an insignificant expense at first. However, this weekly treat can become expensive when only one person pays for the whole family.

You may currently be living in bliss but just in case you have already forgotten, the road through separation is long and stressful - even the second time around! You can live happily ever after, if you work from the beginning at not letting financial issues come between you and your spouse.  You now have the knowledge and the opportunity of protecting what you may think is rightfully yours. Talking about money is never easy, but ignoring the issue of joint finances is just like burying a volcano ready to erupt at any time!