Jill is always struggling to make ends meet and she does not really like her job. More than anything else, she hates to be financially dependent on Jack. Since the separation, she is longing for a new exciting career with a higher income and better advancement opportunities. Her greatest challenge is juggling home life, work and school. Jill’s parents have agreed to help her out with the children during the school year. However, they have a well-deserved retirement and Jill does not feel comfortable with imposing her family responsibilities on them. Jill wonders if she should go back to school part-time or full-time, where she will take the money, the energy and the time to tackle this new life project.
Here are four tips that can make an adult student life a bit easier:
1. Get Financial Help - Unless you have won the lottery or received an inheritance, money is the number one issue for adult student returning to school. Ask your school for the various scholarships, grants and loans available in Ontario. Often the applications must be sent several months prior to the beginning of the school year. Make your budget, understand the debt repayment options available, as well as, the interest rates. No sense accumulating a $50,000 debt that you will only pay off in 25 years! Plan this out while you are at the negotiation table with you ex. For example, you could try to negotiate a lump sum spousal support payment (one larger payment now rather than lower monthly instalments over a longer period of time). You could also ask for higher support payments but for a shorter period of time than the law would allow, which would give you the extra cash flow you need while attending school.
2. Plan study time in your busy schedule - Unless studying becomes your full-time job, you will have to juggle studies, children, and (maybe) a new relationship. Managing your study time will be pivotal to your success. Decide what hours/days you need. Making a date with yourself will help you stay focused and disciplined when something comes up during that scheduled time. Try to negotiate with your ex a parenting plan (access schedule) with the children that will give you the time you need to study. You ex could be more than happy to help out with the children if, in the end it, your income is larger and you become less financially dependent on him or her.
3. Reduce Test Anxiety – It is sad but true, with age and a surcharge of family responsibilities, our memory is not what it used to be when we were young and carefree students. No matter how hard you study, tests are usually stressful. Try to organize a special parenting arrangement with your ex during the weeks when you have exams. School schedules are usually fixed a year in advance. This gives you ample time to sort out, in advance, a parenting arrangement for those weeks. Being organized is the first way to reduce test stress, manage your anxiety and avoid last minute study cramming. When all fails, remember to breathe!
4. Create your support system - Getting help from friends and family will be crucial during this very stressful and hectic time of your life. Many schools offer group help and day-care facilities. Friends and family may be more than happy to take the children for a meal and to special activities to help you out. Don’t be shy and ask for help. Get ideas from other adult students in your group. You might be surprised to see how many other single parents return to school and how resourceful they are when it comes to organization, household management and child care arrangements!
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