Jill wants to have the home transferred to her name. She knows that it is over with Jack and she’s chomping at the bit to build a new life. She feels that Jack is purposely dragging out the separation process in an attempt to wear her down and get a sweeter financial settlement. Her biggest fear is to settle too quickly and end up living from pay check to pay check.
Here are 3 common mistakes people make when negotiating a settlement:
1. Insist on keeping the home you worked hard for or that you like so much
Often, the matrimonial home can be more of a liability than an asset especially when you are living on a single income. It is important to make a list of all the monthly expenses before making this big decision. It is also recommended to add 25% to your current monthly budget because with time, you will need extra money to get the roof repaired, a new fridge and stove, a lawn mower, new furnace etc. In the end, it may make more financial sense to sell the home and move into a smaller, more affordable property such as a condo, an apartment, or a smaller bungalow where the maintenance is taken care of or less costly. Emotionally, it may also make sense to start fresh in a home more suited to your family’s current needs.
2. Get bogged down in the “I want” war
Too many separated spouses fight over possessions they want such as furniture, antiques, and knickknacks while losing the big picture in the process. As a result, lots of time and money are wasted in petty battles. Fighting over minor possessions just makes negotiations on the important issues, like the home, parenting issues and support (child and spousal), more difficult and lengthy. It is important for you to become a savvy negotiator. Make a list of the things that you absolutely want. Also include in the list some of the items you are willing to let go. Then “compromise” on the non-essentials and make it look like a win-win situation!
Too many separated spouses fight over possessions they want such as furniture, antiques, and knickknacks while losing the big picture in the process. As a result, lots of time and money are wasted in petty battles. Fighting over minor possessions just makes negotiations on the important issues, like the home, parenting issues and support (child and spousal), more difficult and lengthy. It is important for you to become a savvy negotiator. Make a list of the things that you absolutely want. Also include in the list some of the items you are willing to let go. Then “compromise” on the non-essentials and make it look like a win-win situation!
3. Be overly anxious to get closure or be afraid to be ridiculed by your ex
Too many people rush into settlement because they are seeking closure. Others are afraid to be ridiculed by their ex and do not stand up their ground. Sometimes the desire for closure or the refusal to speak up means the difference between a comfortable life and a marginal one. Get involved, understand how the law works, ask questions and make sound decisions. Remember that a piece of paper will not give you closure. Only time and working on yourself can do that.
Too many people rush into settlement because they are seeking closure. Others are afraid to be ridiculed by their ex and do not stand up their ground. Sometimes the desire for closure or the refusal to speak up means the difference between a comfortable life and a marginal one. Get involved, understand how the law works, ask questions and make sound decisions. Remember that a piece of paper will not give you closure. Only time and working on yourself can do that.
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