Watch What You Write on Your Wall…

Jill is very upset with Jack and vented her frustrations on Facebook.  Her friends “liked” her comments.  Unfortunately, Jill forgot that one of her friends is also friends with Jack’s teenage niece who has her phone glued to her hip and who instantaneously saw the comment Jill made about her uncle.  Of course, she immediately shared it with her mother, Jack’s sister.  Even if Jill wanted to erase her comment, it is too late and Jack has already seen it. 

Social networking services such as Facebook, Linkedin or Twitter have not only become a “marriage killer” – you would be surprise to learn how many people discovered that their spouse was cheating through these means -  they also have the potential of becoming a “best case” killer in court or in a divorce settlement process.  When a separation gets ugly, spouses may be tempted to use social media as a channel to vent their anger, bash their ex-spouse’s actions and get support from common friends and family members in what they believe to be their “just cause”.   

 
If you are using social media to show off your new “hot” girlfriend to your buddies, or to gain support from your friends, rest assured that this evidence is going to find its way into the court room – or in your ex-spouse’s lawyer’s hands–quicker than you can think.  Yes, this type of evidence can be used against you in court and in other settlement processes.  Imagine, with your own actions and your own words you may give your ex-spouse the evidence he or she needs to discredit you and prove his or her point against you.  Your children could find your disparaging comments in future years.    It is hard for parents to argue that they have their children’s best interest at heart – and thus should be granted sole custody of them – when evidence proves that they have spent the past two months destroying the other parents’ reputation in social media.   Even worst, your children can be scared emotionally in the process, especially if your comments are available for the whole world to read. 

Finally, it is not enough to try to limit the damage by shutting down your existing account, locking down your privacy settings or “untagging” your images and pictures.  The damage may be impossible to control down the road as social media tends to leave permanent traces.  Remember that social networking services were created to help people stay in touch. Therefore, if one day you have the urge or the need to vent about your ex or the events related to your separation, just pick up the phone and talk to someone before writing it - permanently - on  your wall.