Should you try to make Christmas perfect?

Last year was the first Christmas after the separation.  Although the holidays went fairly well given the circumstances, Jill is feeling the pressure of making Christmas perfect.  The children are asking for an IPOD, and IPAD, and IPHONE, an XBOX just to name a few big ticket items on their wish list. Jill earns a lot less money than Jack and cannot afford the luxurious gifts he buys the children.   She also feels guilty that she will not spend Christmas morning with the kids and thinking of the loneliness is just overwhelming.   She knows that she has to stick to the budget and that money does not buy love. However, when it comes to the children Jill usually overspends.  

 

In preparation for Christmas Jill made a list of 5 goals she will try to respect during this holiday season:

 

1.  Make a list of gifts. Set a budget and stick to it.  Shop early – avoid last minute temptations and overspending. 

 

2.  Talk to the children and Jack about Christmas and New Year arrangements well in advance – good planning and realistic expectations can prevent frustrations and disappointment.

 

3.  Remain flexible during the holidays - avoid disagreements, dramatic people and uncomfortable conversations after all “it’s the season to be jolly”.

 

4.  Enjoy myself – spend quality time laughing with family and friends, the support of loved ones can provide strength to move past a difficult situation.

 

5.  Remain positive – Choosing to learn from this hurtful life experience can help you grow into a stronger, wiser person.

 

The children are finally 18, can I stop paying child support?

Jack’s brother, Sam, has twin daughters (Melany and Stephany) who will soon be 18 years old and who continue to live primarily with their mother since the separation. The adult girls have just graduated from high school.     Melany has been working in retail since she is 16 years old and in light of the career opportunities offered by her company she has decided for the time being to work full time in that industry and not pursue her post-secondary studies.    As for Stephany, she aspires to become a doctor and has been accepted to university.  Following the completion of her bachelor degree in sciences, she hopes to enter medical school to pursue her dream.    For the next three years, both girls intend to continue living with their mother   Sam wonders whether he still has an obligation to pay child support after the girls turn 18.

Child support does not necessarily end when a child turns 18.  Normally, child support will continue to be paid for an adult child if he/she enrolls into  a post-secondary study program or if the child is unable to support himself/herself as a result of a disability or illness.  When a child pursues a college or university education the child support obligation will usually end when the child receives his/her first post-secondary degree, although there are exceptions.

To the extent that the obligation to continue to pay child support exists, the monthly amount of support must be determined. This is where things get a bit more complicated.  Normally, if a child lives at home with one parent while pursuing his/her studies, the basic child support amount that was payable prior to the child turning 18 will likely continue to be payable after that date (this amount is set by the Federal Child Support Guidelines, based on the payor’s income). This makes sense since the “custodial” parent will have to continue to maintain a home for the child and to assume his/her day-to-day expenses (i.e., transportation, food, clothing).    However, if the child movesaway from home to attend school (normally 8 months out of 12), then the way child support is calculated would be different as we would have to take into consideration the child’s needs outside of the parent’s home, the reduced costs to the recipient parent when the child is living away from home and the child’s own ability to contribute to his or her living and school expenses.

In addition to paying the basic child support amount, the paying parent (such as Sam) would also have an obligation to contribute his/her share of the child’s extraordinary expenses.  These would include a portion of the child’s tuition fees, books and other school expenses, to the extent that the child is unable to cover all of those expenses with student loans, grants or their own income.

 

Although it may appear that child support obligations will never end, just remember that you are a parent for life.  In the end, giving your child a chance at living a successful and financially independent life (hopefully sooner rather than later…) is what you are here for in the first place, isn’t it?

Remarriage and Spousal Support

Jill has met a new man.  He has never been married and asked her the other day if she would ever consider marriage again.  Jill always thought that once was enough but this man, Gary, is very kind, attentive to her needs and he is very respectful of the children.  He dreams of building a family life with Jill and believes that marriage would be the ultimate commitment. Jill is really not sure about this ‘marriage commitment thing’. She is also afraid that it may affect the monthly spousal support she is getting from Jack and that she has fought so hard to obtain… And then what happens if it does not work out with Gary?

If Jill remarries, she will be faced with three possible scenarios.  Her spousal support may be (1) terminated (2) reduced or (3) continue as is.  The main issue that will be considered by a court will be whether Jill’s remarriage is considered a “material change in circumstances”.  In order to change the spousal support terms of an agreement that you signed, you must show that something important changed in the parties’ circumstances and that if such changed circumstances had been present when the agreement was negotiated, it would have led to a different amount being paid.  So, if Jill’s remarriage was a clear possibility when she signed her agreement with Jack, and the agreement does not state that her remarriage would be “a material change in circumstances”, it is likely that Jill’s remarriage would have no impact on Jack’s future support obligations.

If Jill’s remarriage was not likely to occur in a foreseeable future when the parties signed their separation agreement, it is possible that her remarriage will be considered a “material change in circumstances” allowing Jack to ask that his support obligations be reviewed in light of Jill’s new family circumstances (and increase family income). This would not of course guarantee an automatic change, as Jill’s entitlement to support (particularly if it was being paid to her to compensate her for the economic disadvantages suffered during her marriage to Jack) might not change even if she is remarried.

Sometimes, a separation agreement specifically provides that spousal support will end if the recipient remarries.  In that case, the outcome would be quite clear and the spousal support would end the day Jill says “I do” for a second time. 

Spousal support is complex.  When dealing with this issue, courts (and lawyers and mediators) will have the following four objectives in mind: 

 

1) recognize any economic advantages or disadvantages to the spouses arising from the marriage or its breakdown; 

 

2) apportion between the spouses any financial consequences arising from the care of any child of the marriage over and above any obligation for the support of any child of the marriage;

3) relieve any economic hardship of the spouses arising from the breakdown of the marriage; and

4) in so far as practicable, promote the economic self-sufficiency of each spouse within a reasonable period of time.

 

If you are contemplating remarriage, spousal support is only one of the issues that you should  consider carefully with your legal advisor. Understanding how to protect your property in a second marriage (by entering into a marriage contract) is also key to happy endings. Visit our website at www.familylawinabox.com and listen to our program on Division of Family Property for Married Spouses (click here).

What? You moved away with the children!

Jill and Jack have been arguing for quite a while now.  For Easter, Jack took the children on holidays to his family in Toronto.  On Easter Monday, Jack sent Jill a text message saying the children would not be returning home that night as he had decided to permanently move to Toronto with the children in order to be closer to his immediate family.  Jill is in a state of shock and her first instinct is to call the police and charge him with kidnapping! All Jill wants is to get the children safely home as quickly as possible. Does Jack have the right to move out of town without telling her?

 

While Jack may certainly move, he cannot do so with the children and most importantly without speaking with Jill who has legal options available to her.  The very first thing that Jill should do is to IMMEDIATELY speak with a family lawyer as in custody matters of this kind, acting with all speed is absolutely crucial.  Every hour and every day that Jill delays in taking court action works against her chances of getting back the children quickly.

 

Under no circumstances should Jill consent to Jack’s removal of the children or sign any agreement that deals with custody and access matters until she and her lawyer have reviewed it.  Similarly, nor should Jill say or write anything to Jack that could be interpreted as agreeing with his removal of the children from the family home.  Jill will also be required to start an urgent court proceeding against Jack for the children's return. Custody proceedings are very fact-specific and to save time and legal fees, Jill will need to provide her lawyer with the following information:

 

1. the family’s background (names of the parties and their children, dates of birth, length of relationship, employment, income, etc.);

 

2. Short timeline of the main events leading up to Jack's removal of the children;

 

3. List of family members, daycare providers and friends who can help her care for the children if the court orders their return to the family home;

 

4. why it would be in the children’s best interest to be in your care until the matter is sorted out, and;

 

5. what access, if any, do you propose the other parent to have.

 

The reason for the parent's moving is irrelevant to the court unless it helps to determine the parent's ability to provide for the children's needs. When making parenting decisions, the courts sole concern is the child’s best interest – what are the child's needs and the ability of each parent to satisfy those needs. Of course, the relationship that the child has with each parent will also be examined. Courts do not like to introduce instability into the children’s lives, nor do they want children to remain in environments that leave them vulnerable to emotional and physical harm. Thus, the trend in the Ontario courts has been to disallow the removal of the children from their family home if there is no compelling reason to show that such a move is in their best interests. In Jack’s case, for instance, the court could order for example that he return the children to Jill or have the police apprehend him and return the children to Jill.

 

Moving away with the children without proper discussion and agreement between both parents will not only disrupt the children’s lives, it will create lots of fear and unnecessary anxiety. Speaking to a family law professional and with the other parent before making such a move is a must!

Ask your lawyer for tax receipt and save money!

It is now tax season and Jill has made an appointment with her accountant to finalize her yearly income tax return.  Since Jill needed every penny she received in spousal support to make ends meet, she did not listen to her lawyer’s recommendation to set aside in her savings account 25% of the total income paid by Jack.    She is now extremely stressed and wonders how much money she will need to return to the taxman.  After speaking with her friend Susan, who has gone through a divorce a few years ago, Jill may have found a silver lining that may help her reduce the amount of income tax she owes.  As explained by Susan, all Jill needs to do is ask her lawyer for a tax receipt indicating the total amount of the legal costs she incurred to either:

• establish the amount of support payments (child and/or spousal);

• collect late support payments;

• increase support payments (child and/or spousal);  and/or

 

• defend against a request by the payer (Jack) to reduce established support payments. 

If you are a recipient of child and/or spousal support, you can deduct, in your income tax return, the legal fees incurred to obtain, collect or increase support as well as defend a claim for the reduction of such support.  The legal costs incurred by a recipient to resolve any other issues such as property and parenting cannot be deducted.  Unfortunately, if you are the payer of child and/or spousal support, you cannot claim legal costs incurred to establish, negotiate, or contest the amount of support payments.

 

Your lawyer, if asked, will be responsible to prepare the tax receipt and determine the amount of legal costs you spent in the year to deal with the support issues mentioned above. So if you believe that some of the legal fees you incurred this year qualify as a tax deduction, don’t forget to ask your lawyer for a receipt!

Four crucial rules to help you win your case in Family Court

Jack has just been served with divorce papers (in lawyer’s terms, that’s a court application in which Jill is seeking a divorce, sole custody of the children, support, and many other things).  Stressed, Jack has not wasted one minute to immediately set up a meeting with his lawyer, and together they have discussed a strategy on how to respond to the court case, and how to behave now that the matter is before the court. As Jack will soon find out, there is rarely a quick and easy divorce (unless you have been separated for many years, all issues have been resolved and the only thing asked of the court is to finally grant the divorce).

The road to obtaining a final court order can be very long, time consuming and stressful.  Without your ongoing help and input, your lawyer’s power to obtain what is rightfully yours is significantly diminished.  You are the only person who knows the facts of your story inside out and as such, you are key to your lawyer’s ability to win your case.  If you do not behave properly during the long months it will take to bring the court proceeding to an end, you may be giving your ex-spouse what he/she needs to have the upper hand at the end.

Here are four simple – but ho! so very important – rules to follow to make the court proceeding much easier for your lawyer, yourself and the children:

1.      Keep a journal.  Keep a journal of all the important events taking place post-separation. Your former spouse may say things to you, or act in a manner that will need to be relayed to a judge down the road.  Memory is a faculty that forgets easily especially in times of extreme stress and crisis.  Keeping a detailed written record of these occurrences will serve as a helpful reminder at trial and will also enhance the credibility of your oral testimony since it was written at the time the events actually took place.

2.      Start collecting important documents. Going through a court process means presenting to the court all of the evidence it needs to make a fair decision about each disputed issue in your case.  For that to happen, you must provide the judge with all the relevant evidence supporting your position.  As soon as you separate and even before you separate, start collecting all of the necessary documents such as bank statements (confirming your debts and assets), income information, relevant contracts, business records, emails, letters, medical reports, expense receipts and so on.  Make photocopies of ALL documents that you think may be of importance, you never know when you will need them (we have an excellent program on gathering relevant documentation in our Study Box: Find out more (click here).

3.      Be polite and to the point in email contacts and refrain from using social media to vent your frustration. More especially if children are involved you will likely have to continue to communicate with your former spouse after you separate. If you must communicate with him or her, be polite and to the point. There is nothing more damaging to your case than your former spouse bringing emails or Facebook messages he or she received from you showing how angry, mean and denigrating you have been. Further, if you are seeking custody of your children, you need to show the court that you can effectively communicate and cooperate with your former spouse for the sake of your children.

4.      Be as reasonable as possible and maintain your credibility at all times.  This might be the most important tip you are given here.  It will be a long time before you are actually standing in the witness box telling your story.  In the meanwhile, the judge will only be able to assess your credibility by listening to what your lawyer is saying about you or by reading written materials prepared by your lawyer on your behalf.  Since they cannot really assess credibility (this means being able to tell whether you or your ex is lying) in those situations, they will give a good hard look at your actual actions:  Who has cut the other from the health plan coverage?  Who has maxed out the joint line of credit?  Who is refusing to pay his/her rightful share of the mortgage?  Who is asking for the sky, the moon and the stars as a starting settlement position?  It is said that your past behaviour is often a good indication of your current and future behaviour.  Think of how you want to be perceived and if you don’t like the current story, just change it positively. 

This practical advice may ultimately help you win your case in court.

Spousal support? Are you kidding me??

Jack and Jill both met in university.  During their last two years of university, Jack and Jill moved in together and married a few months after graduation.  The couple were advancing in age and as Jack was making a decent salary that could support the family.  They then decided that Jill would stay home with the children until they were in school. But Jill never truly started her career.  She is working part-time for the local television station, which gives her time to attend to all of the children’s medical and extracurricular needs. Her annual income is not sufficient to be self-supporting. Jill is completely discouraged especially in this time of recession where no one is hiring and all of her friends are being laid-off.   Jill has been told by her lawyer that after 13 years of marriage she would most likely be entitled to spousal support.  Jack disagrees stating that it was Jill’s decision to stay home while he worked his butt off all these years to support the family. 

 
Unlike child support which is calculated according to a specific amount set out in the Federal Child Support Guidelines, spousal support is not set in stone.  If the parties disagree on the amount to be paid, or for how long, the court will be required to make a decision and they have much discretion in setting those parameters.  The following factors, among others, will be considered: 

- The number of years during which the parties have lived together;
- The parties’ respective income;
- Whether the couple still have dependent children;
- The parties' age as well as their physical and mental health;
- The parties’ standard of living during the relationship;
- The parties’ current assets and financial means, including what they are likely to earn in the future;
- The capacity of the recipient to contribute to his/her own support, by working or otherwise, and the amount of time it will take him/her to achieve self-sufficiency;
- The payer’s capacity to pay support; and
- Whether or not the recipient has helped the other spouse to build a career or a business.

 

In general, the duration of spousal support can vary from 0.5 to 1 year of support for each year the couple has cohabited together (note that it is the years of cohabitation that count, not the years of marriage).  In certain circumstances, such as when a couple has cohabited for more than 20 years, the support may be payable for an “indefinite” duration.  This means that the support will continue to be paid until an important change occurs (such as remarriage, retirement, important change in income, etc.).

The right to ask for spousal support is automatic for married couples. With regard to common law spouses, it varies from province to province.  In Ontario, you can only ask for spousal support if you have lived together for 3 years continuously, or if you have a child together and live in a relationship of some permanence. The same factors (as listed above) are relevant for married and common law couples.

For more helpful information about spousal support or the rights of common law spouses, subscribe to our full library of recorded programs (Study Box) available 24/7 at www.familylawinabox.com (click here to be directed to our Study Box).

 

Child Support – Why should I support my wife’s shopping addiction?

Following many discussions, Jack and Jill have finally agreed for Jill to have the children in her primary care (equal to 70% of the time) and Jack, because of his work obligations and difficult schedule, will have them in his care every second weekend including one or two evenings in between (or 30% of the time).  As a result of this arrangement and because he earns a substantially higher income than Jill, Jack’s monthly child support payment will increase.  Jack is concerned about Jill’s love for shopping. While he financially supported it during the marriage, Jack is convinced that a good chunk of the child support he will pay will not be spent on the children. Jack spoke to colleagues at work who used all sorts of strategies to reduce their child support payments. He wonders whether he should have insisted to have the children 50% of the time and whether it was a good idea to accept the long-awaited promotion handed out to him at work, resulting in a higher income… and higher child support payments.

Both of these options are not advisable.  Firstly, a parent should never make parenting decisions based on financial considerations (i.e. with a view of reducing child support).  The court would readily see such a decision for what it is and the parent would lose credibility before the court (or a mediator).  Decision-making authorities assess parenting arrangements based on what is in the best interest of the children, and nothing else.  Rights and obligations regarding children are the same whether you are married or living in a common law relationship.

In the same way, it is a terrible idea for a parent to take steps to quit a well-paying job or to voluntarily reduce his/her annual income to avoid paying child support.  If a court finds that the payer parent has voluntarily reduced his/her income, it may impute an annual income that is greater than the one shown on the income tax return.  The amount of the imputed income will be based on what the court believes the payer parent has the capability to earn.  Following the court decision, that parent will be obligated to pay the higher basic child support amount imputed.  

Many payer parents are concerned with the way basic child support is being used by the recipient parent. While this may be frustrating in some circumstances, the payer parent has no control over the money once it has been paid to the recipient parent. What payers need to understand is that basic child support is not meant to cover strictly expenses that directly benefit the children themselves (such as food and clothing).  It also serves to cover expenses which benefit the children indirectly (although it also has the effect of benefitting the parent as well), such as the mortgage and utilities (for the home in which the children live), the car (which is used to travel them around) and, yes, even the brand new porch…

The payer parent should also keep in mind that in the Federal Child Support Guidelines, basic child support amounts vary for each Canadian provinces and territories and are set based on the amount that an individual parent, with a specific income, is expected to spend to provide for his/her children.   It is simple, the higher the income, the higher the child support amount will be.  Although a payer parent may feel that it would be « cheaper » not to pay child support and to have the children half the time instead, let’s remember that raising children is extremely expensive (many little things, which you may not think about, result in considerable costs when pulled together; haircuts, school lunches and activities, birthday parties, toys, personal care items and, yes, those LuLu Lemon pants…).  In the vast majority of cases, the basic child support amount will not be sufficient to cover that parent’s share of the children’s expenses (both direct and indirect) and the recipient parent will often have to modify his/her current standard of living to support the children financially.

For more helpful information about basic child support and or extraordinary (special) expenses, subscribe to our full library of recorded programs (Study Box) at

www.familylawinabox.com.  (click here to be directed to our Study Box)

Life insurance to secure child support: There’s no way I’m leaving you this money!

Since the separation, Jack has never stopped paying the monthly premiums for the life insurance policy that he and Jill bought during their marriage.  As there is no chance of reconciliation, Jack wonders whether he should stop paying for Jill’s portion of the monthly premiums.  After all, why isn’t Jill paying for her own premiums? Jack’s friend Dave also told him that he should immediately remove Jill’s name as the beneficiary of his insurance policy and put the children instead.

 

If Jack was well advised, he would do neither.  When parents separate and there are dependent children to care for, it is very important for both parents to maintain life insurance coverage sufficient to provide for the children should the unthinkable happen.  As long as the children remain dependant financially, both parents have a continued obligation to provide financial support –child support – whether they are paying it or receiving it.

In most cases, when a parent dies, the children move in full-time with the surviving parent who is left with having to financially support the children, without any financial contribution from the other parent, unless proper life insurance coverage is in place.  Even if the deceased parent has made a Will and named the minor children as beneficiaries of part or all of his or her estate, the reality is that it often takes months, if not years, for an estate to be administered and the gifts to be distributed.  Furthermore, the Will may prevent the children to have access to the money until they are 18 years of age or even older.  In the meanwhile, the surviving parent struggles and the children suffer unnecessarily. 

 

Here are some additional reasons why separated parents should maintain life insurance coverage naming the other parent as irrevocable beneficiary in trust for the children AT ALL TIMES:

1. If you die and have made no provisions for the other parent to receive money for the support of your children, the surviving parent may very well sue your Estate to obtain that support.  This is bound to delay the administration of your estate considerably, in addition to forcing your executors to engage significant legal fees to defend the action and settle the issue, leaving less money for the children in the end.

 

2. If your child is a minor at the time of your death, he or she will not be entitled to receive any monies directly (from your Will or your insurance policy).  The monies will have to be administered by the person you named as trustee for your children.   If no one was named, the monies will be administered by the Office of the Public Guardian (OPG), a governmental institution who will step in to administer your financial affairs and decide what is best for your children.

 

3. Having your ex-spouse as beneficiary in trust of the life insurance proceeds for your children with specific directions as to how the funds may be used by him or her, and what is to be done with any leftover once the children cease to be dependent, will insure that the monies are used properly for the benefit of your children.

 

4. Your children will have immediate access to funds to maintain their standard of living after you are gone.  They will be able to pursue their activities or schooling, and there will be no gap between the time of your death and the time they have access to the fund they need to pursue their daily life.

 

5. Proper life insurance simplifies the lives of everyone involved if one of the parents dies, and the cost to maintain relatively large amounts of temporary life insurance coverage is quite minimal - depending of course on your age and health condition. 

Making sure your children are provided for in the event of your death is a part of being a responsible and loving parent.

Watch What You Write on Your Wall…

Jill is very upset with Jack and vented her frustrations on Facebook.  Her friends “liked” her comments.  Unfortunately, Jill forgot that one of her friends is also friends with Jack’s teenage niece who has her phone glued to her hip and who instantaneously saw the comment Jill made about her uncle.  Of course, she immediately shared it with her mother, Jack’s sister.  Even if Jill wanted to erase her comment, it is too late and Jack has already seen it. 

Social networking services such as Facebook, Linkedin or Twitter have not only become a “marriage killer” – you would be surprise to learn how many people discovered that their spouse was cheating through these means -  they also have the potential of becoming a “best case” killer in court or in a divorce settlement process.  When a separation gets ugly, spouses may be tempted to use social media as a channel to vent their anger, bash their ex-spouse’s actions and get support from common friends and family members in what they believe to be their “just cause”.   

 
If you are using social media to show off your new “hot” girlfriend to your buddies, or to gain support from your friends, rest assured that this evidence is going to find its way into the court room – or in your ex-spouse’s lawyer’s hands–quicker than you can think.  Yes, this type of evidence can be used against you in court and in other settlement processes.  Imagine, with your own actions and your own words you may give your ex-spouse the evidence he or she needs to discredit you and prove his or her point against you.  Your children could find your disparaging comments in future years.    It is hard for parents to argue that they have their children’s best interest at heart – and thus should be granted sole custody of them – when evidence proves that they have spent the past two months destroying the other parents’ reputation in social media.   Even worst, your children can be scared emotionally in the process, especially if your comments are available for the whole world to read. 

Finally, it is not enough to try to limit the damage by shutting down your existing account, locking down your privacy settings or “untagging” your images and pictures.  The damage may be impossible to control down the road as social media tends to leave permanent traces.  Remember that social networking services were created to help people stay in touch. Therefore, if one day you have the urge or the need to vent about your ex or the events related to your separation, just pick up the phone and talk to someone before writing it - permanently - on  your wall. 

Should we involve the Office of the Children’s Lawyer in our parenting dispute?

Jack thinks that Jill is unreasonable when making plans regarding the children.  She refuses to be flexible when it comes to dividing the time with the children on holidays, sharing information from the school, or letting him take the children for more than a few days here and there. Jack wants to have the children with him half the time to regain his place as a parent in their lives.  His friend has suggested that he should consider getting the Office of the Children’s Lawyer (OCL) involved but Jack is leery to engage the children in a process that he does not understand. 

The Office of the Children’s Lawyer is a government-funded organization that oversees that justice is being served on behalf of children (under 18 years of age) through the delivery of various services in the province of Ontario.  It is important to note, however, that the OCL’s involvement in custody and access cases is not automatic.  Their services may be requested by a judge in the context of a court case but there is no guarantee that the OCL will provide services.  If it does, then those services will be provided free of charge to the parents.  In essence, the OCL steps in as an objective third party to introduce some impartiality in disputes between parents.  The OCL can provide two very useful services: independent legal representation for children and custody and access assessments performed by trained social science professionals.

Independent legal representation will normally be provided when the child is older or at least sufficiently mature to express his opinion about his preferences. The child’s lawyer will be an advocate for the child and his/her role and responsibility will be to convey to the judge the child’s wishes and preferences with regards to the visitation arrangements that he would prefer.  For younger children or for families that present important challenges (such as allegations of domestic violence, substance abuse, parental alienation or where a child has special needs), the OCL may become involved by carrying out a comprehensive family assessment.  Following such an assessment, the OCL’s clinical investigators will report to the court to provide recommendations about the custody and access arrangements that would be best for the children.

The OCL’s services are very effective at helping parents make decisions that are in the best interest of their children, when they have not been able to do so on their own. Of course, it is always best for everybody when parents are able to agree between themselves as to what is best for their kids, as parents may not be happy with the recommendations made by an outsider, be it a judge or the professionals working for the OCL.